بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم
Losing a loved one is certainly a difficult period in one’s life and requires some time for one to heal. People resort to different methods to help them cope and for some, visiting the grave of their loved one is a source of relief and contentment with the decree of Allah. Having said that, a believer’s life must be in accordance with the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (ﷺ) at all times and in all aspects of his or her life.
As for whether it is permissible for women to visit graveyards, the relied-upon position in the Hanafi school of thought is that it is permissible, provided certain conditions are fulfilled. Imām Ibn ʿĀbidīn (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
‘The soundest (aṣaḥḥ) position is that dispensation has been established for them…and [Imām Khayr ad-Dīn] al-Ramlī has said, “If that (i.e. visiting the gravesite) is to renew their sorrows, or to cry and wail, as is the customary practice of many, then it is not permitted for them [to visit graves]. This is how the prophetic hadith: ‘Allah has cursed women who visit graves,’ has been understood. As for if they visit for contemplation, compassion without [exaggerated] crying, and seeking blessing by visiting the graves of the righteous, then it is not wrong if they are elderly. It is disliked if they are young as it is [disliked] for them to attend congregational prayer in mosques.’”
Radd al-Muḥtār 3:178, (Maktabah Ashrafiyyah)
Imām Ṭaḥṭāwī (may Allah have mercy on him) has said:
‘The soundest position is that dispensation [in visiting graves] has been established for men and women; as Sayyidah Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) would visit the grave of Hamzah every Friday, and ʿAʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her) would visit the grave of her brother ʿAbd al-Rahman in Makkah. This is what [Imām] al-Badr al-ʿAynī has mentioned in the commentary of al-Bukhari.’
Ḥāshiyat al-Ṭaḥṭāwī 620, (DKI)
Imām Sarakhsī (may Allah have mercy on him) has said:
‘Some scholars state that the dispensation for visiting graves was given only to men and not women [after its initial prohibition by the Prophet (ﷺ)]. However, the soundest opinion according to us is that it was made permissible for both men and women, as we know that ʿAʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her) would visit the grave of the Prophet (ﷺ) at all times, and when she went for pilgrimage, she visited the grave of her brother ʿAbd al-Rahman [in Makkah].’
Al-Mabsūṭ of Imām Sarakhsī 24:10, (Maṭbaʿah al-Saʿādah).
As for a few of the pieces of evidence that scholars of the Hanafi school have relied upon, one of them is the hadith of our mother ʿAʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated by Imām Bayhaqī and others:
ʿAbdullah b. Abī Mulaykah said, ‘On one occasion, ʿAʾishah (may Allah be pleased with her) was returning from the graveyard so I asked her, “O mother of the believers, where are you returning from?” She replied, “From the grave of my brother ʿAbd al-Rahman b. Abī Bakr.” Then I asked, “Would the Prophet (ﷺ) not prohibit [us] from visiting graves?” She replied, “Yes, he had prohibited it; then, he granted permission.”
Al-Sunan al-Kubrā, 7458.
Likewise, upon seeing a woman crying beside a grave, the Prophet (ﷺ) advised her to be patient, and did not instruct her to leave nor did he inform her that she is prohibited from visiting graves. This is found in the following hadith narrated by Imām Bukhārī and Imām Muslim (may Allah be pleased with them):
Anas (Allah be pleased with him) narrates, ‘The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave. He told her to fear Allah and be patient. She said to him, “Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine,” and she did not recognise him. Then she was informed that he was the Prophet (ﷺ), so she went to his house did not find any guards there, and she said to him, “I did not recognise you,” to which he replied, “Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.”
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Kitāb al-Janāʾiz, Bāb Ziyārat al-Qubūr, 1283.
From the above we can conclude that it is permitted for women to visit the graveyard. However, there are a number of obvious rulings that precede this and must be fulfilled not only when women visit graveyards, but anytime they leave their homes. They must ensure that the laws of ḥijāb are fulfilled, that they conduct themselves modestly, that they visit the gravesite at a time when there are no men around, or be accompanied by a maḥram if there are men around, that they do not raise their voices, that they do not hit themselves or rip their clothes, that they do not make utterances that will displease Allah. Some of these preconditions apply to men as well, but given that the question is specifically regarding women, it has been answered in light of that.
And Allāh Taʿālā knows best
Siddiqa al-Farsiyyah (Muftiya)
Approved by: Mufti Tosir Miah (ḥafiẓahullāh)
Radd al-Muḥtār 3:178, (Maktabah Ashrafiyyah):
(قَوْلُهُ: وَلَوْ لِلنِّسَاءِ) وَقِيلَ: تَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهِنَّ. وَالْأَصَحُّ أَنَّ الرُّخْصَةَ ثَابِتَةٌ لَهُنَّ بَحْرٌ…وَقَالَ الْخَيْرُ الرَّمْلِيُّ: إنْ كَانَ ذَلِكَ لِتَجْدِيدِ الْحُزْنِ وَالْبُكَاءِ وَالنَّدْبِ عَلَى مَا جَرَتْ بِهِ عَادَتُهُنَّ فَلَا تَجُوزُ، وَعَلَيْهِ حُمِلَ حَدِيثُ «لَعَنَ اللَّـه زَائِرَاتِ الْقُبُورِ» وَإِنْ كَانَ لِلِاعْتِبَارِ وَالتَّرَحُّمِ مِنْ غَيْرِ بُكَاءٍ وَالتَّبَرُّكِ بِزِيَارَةِ قُبُورِ الصَّالِحِينَ فَلَا بَأْسَ إذَا كُنَّ عَجَائِزَ. وَيُكْرَهُ إذَا كُنَّ شَوَابَّ كَحُضُورِ الْجَمَاعَةِ فِي الْمَسَاجِدِ اهـ.
Ḥāshiyat al-Ṭaḥṭāwī 620, (DKI):
والأصح أن الرخصة ثابتة للرجال والنساء لأن السيدة فاطمة رضي الله تعالى عنها كانت تزور قبر حمزة كل جمعة وكانت عائشة رضي الله تعالى عنها تزور قبر أخيها عبد الرحمن بمكة كذا ذكره البدر العيني في شرح البخاري.
Al-Baḥr wa al-Rāʾiq 2:210, (Dār al-Kitāb al-Islāmī):
صَرَّحَ فِي الْمُجْتَبَى بِأَنَّهَا مَنْدُوبَةٌ وَقِيلَ تَحْرُمُ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ وَالْأَصَحُّ أَنَّ الرُّخْصَةَ ثَابِتَةٌ لَهُمَا…إلخ
Al-Mabsūṭ of Imā Sarakhsī 24:10, (Maṭbaʿah al-Saʿādah):
وَمِنْ الْعُلَمَاءِ مَنْ يَقُولُ: الْإِذْنُ لِلرِّجَالِ دُونَ النِّسَاءِ، وَالنِّسَاءُ يُمْنَعْنَ مِنْ الْخُرُوجِ إلَى الْمَقَابِرِ لِمَا رُوِيَ «أَنَّ فَاطِمَةَ – رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا – خَرَجَتْ فِي تَعْزِيَةٍ لِبَعْضِ الْأَنْصَارِ، فَلَمَّا رَجَعَتْ قَالَ لَهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ: – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – لَعَلَّك أَتَيْت الْمَقَابِرَ قَالَتْ لَا، فَقَالَ – عَلَيْهِ الصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ – لَوْ أَتَيْت مَا فَارَقْت جَدَّتُك يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ» أَيْ كُنْت مَعَهَا فِي النَّارِ، وَالْأَصَحُّ عِنْدَنَا أَنَّ الرُّخْصَةَ ثَابِتَةٌ فِي حَقِّ الرِّجَالِ وَالنِّسَاءِ جَمِيعًا. فَقَدْ رُوِيَ أَنَّ عَائِشَةَ – رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا – كَانَتْ تَزُورُ قَبْرَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – فِي كُلِّ وَقْتٍ، وَأَنَّهَا لَمَّا خَرَجَتْ حَاجَّةً زَارَتْ قَبْرَ أَخِيهَا عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ – رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْه…إلخ –
Mawsūʿah al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kuwaitiyyah, Kitāb al-Ṣalāt: Ḥukm Ziyārat al-Qubūr.
القول الثالث: تُباحُ زيارةُ القبورِ للنِّساءِ، وهو مذهَبُ الحَنفيَّة، وقولٌ للمالكيَّةِ، وقولٌ عند الشَّافعيَّة، وروايةٌ عن أحمد، واختاره القرطبيُّ، والشوكانيُّ.
الأدلَّة من السُّنَّة:
عن بُريدَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عنه، قال: قال رسولُ الله صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم: ((نهَيْتُكم عن زيارَةِ القُبورِ فزُورُوها)).
.وَجهُ الدَّلالةِ: أنَّ السِّياقَ يدُلُّ على سَبْقِ النَّهْيِ ونَسخِه؛ فيدْخُلُ في عمومِه الرِّجالُ والنِّساءُ.
عن أبي هُريرة رَضِيَ اللهُ عنه، قال: ((زار النبيُّ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم قبرَ أمِّه فبَكى وأبكى مَن حَوْلَه، فقال: استأذَنْتُ ربِّي في أن أستَغْفِرَ لها، فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لي، واستأذَنْتُه في أن أزورَ قَبرَها فأَذِنَ لي؛ فزُوروا القبورَ؛ فإنِّها تُذَكِّرُ الموتَ)).
وَجهُ الدَّلالةِ: أن تعليلَ الأمرِ بزيارَةِ القُبور ِلتَذَكُّرِ الآخِرَةِ، يَشْترِكُ فيه الرِّجالُ والنِّساءُ.
عن عبدِ اللهِ بنِ أبي مُلَيكةَ، ((أنَّ عائشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عنها أقبلَتْ ذاتَ يومٍ من المقابِرِ، فقُلْتُ لها: يا أمَّ المؤمنينَ مِن أينَ أقبَلْتِ؟ قالت: مِن قَبرِ أخي عبدِ الرحمنِ بنِ أبي بكرٍ. فقلت لها: أليسَ كان رسولُ اللهِ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم نهى عن زيارَةِ القبورِ؟ قالت: نعم، كان نهى، ثُمَّ أَمَرَ بزيارَتِها)).
عن عائشة رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عنها، قالت: ((ألَا أُحَدِّثُكم عنِّي وعن رسولِ الله صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم، قلنا: بلى.. الحديث، وفيه: قالت: قلْتُ: كيف أقولُ لهم يا رسولَ الله؟ قال: قولي: السَّلامُ على أهلِ الدِّيارِ من المؤمنينَ والمُسْلمينَ، ويَرْحَمُ اللهُ المُستَقدِمينَ مِنَّا والمُستَأخرينَ، وإنَّا إن شاءَ الله بكم لَلاحقونَ)).
.وَجهُ الدَّلالةِ: أنَّ تعليمَ النبيِّ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم لها هذا الدُّعاءَ يدُلُّ على جوازِ زيارَةِ النِّساءِ للمقابِرِ.
عن أنسِ بنِ مالكٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عنه، قال: ((مرَّ النبيُّ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم بامرأةٍ تبكي عند قبرٍ، فقال: اتَّقي اللهَ واصبري. قالت: إليكَ عَنِّي؛ فإنكَ لم تُصَبْ بمُصيبتي – ولم تعرِفْهُ- فقيل لها: إنَّهُ النبيُّ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم، فأتت بابَ النبيِّ صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم، فلم تَجِدْ عندَه بوَّابِينَ، فقالت: لم أعرفْكَ، فقال: إنَّما الصبرُ عندَ الصَّدْمةِ الأُولى)).
.وَجهُ الدَّلالةِ: أنَّه لم يُنْكِرْ عليها زيارَتها للقَبرِ.
The Hadith Disciple 